New Beginnings

So much has changed. Situations have changed. I've changed, but I'm still the same person. I feel like my changes have been subtle. I'm still the same shy, friendly, loving, not so confident, trusting dreamer I've been since as long as I can remember. Since the beginning of the year I've had a hard time putting my complete trust into people. I've been hurt and betrayed all the while I was loved and a friend. What went wrong? I'm not sure, but I used to be someone who was adamant about certain things, like... I would never give second chances. Now I know it isn't easy to just give up on someone you've come to love so much that it hurts to think that life wouldn't be complete without that person. It sounds really sappy, I know, but I've become someone who gives second chances based upon my feelings, others' feelings, the effort. It hasn't been easy to accept that certain things have happened that can't be taken back. It won't be easy for a while and it still breaks my heart to think about everything. Trust is a difficult thing to rebuild, but slowly and surely, it'll be there completely again... at least I hope so. I feel like I've made the right decision. I'm in love. Very much so. I'm living on my own for the first time, aside from my college years, and I'm with a person I hope to be with forever. It's definitely a new experience. I feel stressed out about bills, loans, finding another job, taking the CSET, applying to a program, and everything that has to do with huge life changes. It is very nice to have someone who attempts to take a load off my shoulders, to share frustrations with, to talk to and laugh with on a daily basis, and just to love and find comfort in. So far, living with him has been a wonderful experience. I love all of the domestic tasks we do together like cleaning and decorating the house, shopping for groceries, and other simple things that may seem routine and insignificant, but are actually really meaningful. It's exciting to say in the least to share my life with someone like this.